OrGODnized Chaos

This past weekend, I had the unique experience of attending two very significant events at different ends of the spectrum on the same day. Each event had a lasting effect on me in a positive manner. A celebration of the end of life (a funeral) and the other a celebration of the beginning of a new life (a wedding). These celebrations although being distinctively different shared some common emotions and actions. Tears were shed at both. Tears of sorrow and tears of joy. Tears of happiness and tears of sadness. Beyond the tears, I also witnessed laughter and relief. Relief that my loved one did not suffer and relief that the days of planning a wedding is over. These two events taking place on the same day and different times in the lives of my loved ones tells me just how unpredictable life can be.

Reflecting over my own life, unpredictability seems to be the norm.
I am somewhat of a planner. I like to know what is coming, what is ahead, where I am going, and how I am going to get there. The unknown is frightening to me. When the unpredictable transitions of life peek into my life it causes me to become uneasy, anxious, and off balance. I believe myself to be a Type A personality most days. According to an article on http://www.simplypsychology.com, a Type A personality individual tends to be time urgent, impatient, ambitious, and aggressive. Having these characteristics, an unpredictable curve ball can unsettle my entire being. A very close friend knows these things about me. He once told me that I try to be in control of everything and in order for me to feel the relief I desire, I had to relinquish control.

This is exactly how I responded. This was probably 5 or 6 years ago. Needless to say, I did not follow his advice and here I sit at 4:41 am trying to figure out why my life isn’t where I’d like it to be. I know that God knows what I need and when I need it, but Type A Pranati, wants to make it happen herself and right now. If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans. No matter how I plan, how many things I do to try to get things in order, GOD always throws a flag on the play. So, guess what, I’M DONE. My pushing and God’s pulling isn’t getting me anywhere. I am in the same place I was when I moved to Desoto Co. 13 years ago. LITERALLY! So, I am done. Proverbs 14:12 says,” There is a way that seems right to a mans, but its end is the way of death.” My way might end my life and I want to live.

The unpredictable events of life showed me that I really don’t have a lot of time here on this earth. Life is fleeting. We don’t know how much time we have here. (a funeral) It also shows me that when you relinquish control that God can bring some beautiful things together (a wedding). In order to get the full experience of the love of God, I must comply to both.